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Forever Sheneneh: High Heeled Jordans *facepalm*


For real? Seriously?

Ok when the horribleness that was high heeled Air Force 1s came out, I saw it as an opportunity to point and laugh at the less fashion savvy. The high heeled Jordans makes me want to flip over a table. I could get all deep about how people play themselves rocking fake shit. Don't fake it 'til you make it, admire it until you can acquire it. I decided against that I'd rather just make fun of these shits. I'm a Chicagoan, born and raised, and Michael Jordan is something like a phenomenon. The glory years of 90s Chicago Bulls happened during my adolescent and teenage years. I was rocking Mikes when people were getting murked for them. Yeah, it was just that serious. Mikes were not only a status thing but it was like you had a little piece of the magic. I used to love those overpriced heaps of rubber and leather a 5 year old in a 3rd world country sewn up just for me.

Not only are the high heeled Jordans ugly but you know exactly who they are marketed to. The people who cop their sneakers out of trunks of cars. The people who care more about what people think than having a quality product. The people who actually think Burberry made sweatsuits. I'm a bit of a snob, just a tiny bit. That smidgen of snob would never allow me to rock the bastardization of the best sneaker ever made. Seriously, nobody sat at a boardroom table at Jordan Brand or Nike and said "let's make something for hoodboogers to rock proudly with their 2 sizes too small Dereon jeans". I'm pretty sure that meeting didn't happen. It's crazy that they made them in pretty much every make, even my beloved 7s. Oh naw, not my 7s. Yes, even my 7s. I bet they make your feet bark after 2 seconds like all cheap ass shoes do. Why the fuck does the Jumpman logo make MJ look about 50 lbs heavier and instead of a basketball it looks like a medium pizza?

If anybody who lives in the 606** even thinks for 2 seconds about putting these shits on your feet....you need to be drug to the United Center by an angry mob and stoned with pairs of REAL Jordans. For shits and giggles check out the whole shitastical selection

You call that a shirt?!?!?!

So how is this sexy?
Attention whores are the best sometimes. Now I love my boobs, they are my favorite accessory. I spent so many years being ashamed of them I figured work with what I have. There's a way to do it. This shit above...not so much.
Women get dressed up for other women. I've heard that time and time again. Some women dress for men. They peacock wearing their slutty clothes, trying to get chose. Can we say daddy issues? That top would be cute with some sort of printed shirt under it but we know it's going to be rocked with a boob job and fashion tape. Ladies, we have got to do better.